Selena shifted her backpack awkwardly from shoulder to shoulder. The straps felt unusually restrictive, but then again, everything at that moment felt wrong, awkward and unusual.
She stood like a caged animal in front of a room full of bored looking 3rd graders. Her peers reflected herself, the dull stare and the tense lack of composure. Yet, she couldn't identify the odd emotion pulsing through her. The only word to describe it would be anguish and emptiness, but those words were not in young Selena's vocabulary yet. Therefore, the word she chose that was fitting was...frozen.
Time was frozen. As if someone stole Oxygen and made her brain woozy. She knew that when people departed in movies, beloved friends were supposed to shed melancholy tears and hug in tune to sappy music. The person moving was supposed to have racing thoughts and clammy palms.
That is why everything felt so incredibly wrong, since all Selena felt was blank shock and a cold sheen spreading over her body like an icy spasm. In movies, minutes passed like hours, but in this real life situation Selena was all too alert of everything. She could hear the ringing silence, the intensely ticking clock and the dazed teacher gesturing for the class to speak.
Selena stood, inanimately rooted to her spot, fighting her rapidly beating heart, in front of the class she was about to leave. Confused.
Finally, the shock melted from her and that icy sheen faded, only to be replaced by scorching warmth. Her face burned with blush and she realized how uncomfortable it was to stand. The warm tears that were ever so belated began to well in her eyes. She bit her quivering lip to keep the warm tears from betraying her pain, especially since she seemed to be the only one experiencing this emotion. Embarrassed.
So this was it? The end? Goodbye?
This was not supposed to be a question. This was not how it was supposed to end.
She stared down at the children, her friends, cross legged and nonchalant on the ground. Did no one realize her consuming grief? Why was this dark cloud looming only over her? Or was she just melodramatic. Probably.
With a longing sigh Selena turned her hopeful gaze on her best friend.
"Bye Sarah," Selena choked out, her voice was hoarse, an aftereffect of the numbing silence. Struggling, her voice broke and a single tear slid down the contours of her flushed cheek. "Bye Spence?"
It wasn't supposed to be a question. The dismay on Selena's face was not subtle. Her tears became evident, streaming like rivers down her face. No use hiding them. Too late.
Sarah had a dull, bored expression in her hazel eyes. A small forlorn frown played on her lips. Selena couldn't help, but nod approvingly. First sign of sadness. Check.
Silky auburn hair framed Sarah's face like a cascade of chocolaty satin. Then she gave a parting nod and turned away. Her features were relaxed now, as if the strain was minimal.
Selena's hopes plummeted like an airplane falling, in flames, through the clouds. Wild and painful.
Selena turned away from her best friend. Ex-best friend.
She turned to Spence. She scrutinized his every motion, watching his bangs falling over his eyes.
It was a luscious, strawberry-blond curtain caressing soft blue eyes.
Selena waited for Spence to speak. She waited for the teacher to get mad at her friends for not saying goodbye. She waited for anything to arrive and vanquish this retched moment. She waited for the happy memories to flood her mind, like in the movies. Unfortunately, it was all a futile wait. This was not a movie.
Dazed. Yes, that was the perfect word. Dazed to mask her pain, dazed to drown her confusion, dazed to hide her anger. Dazed, she adjusted her backpack again and stepped forward shakily. Her eyes unwittingly trailed behind her, fixed on Spence. He was ignorant to her existence. So unbearably ignorant. The soft blue eyes peeking out from blond curtains bore no anguish.
Spence turned away. It seemed to him, today was the same as any other day, as if his best friend wasn't moving away forever. To him Selena may just be a girl, a classmate, a peer. He would never know how much he meant to her. Her first crush, her best friend, her everything. Now her everything was rejecting her. It was not to be forgiven.
So this was it. The end. Goodbye.
That was not a question anymore. It was truth.
That's when Selena realized she wasn't breathing properly. Stifling the lonely trails of tears, she stumbled out of the room. This life was over for her, and before she vanished, she was already forgotten. All that lingered, etched in her mind was a haunting pair of dull blue eyes.
Spence's eyes. And the careless farewell she would never forgive him for.
So what comes after every stories "the end"?
This life in Oregon may have been over for 8 year old Selena, but a life in California awaited her. Full of turbulent drama and pain. Full of friendship and love.
This was so different from movies.
So this was it. The end. Finale.
...this was a real goodbye.
So what comes after every stories "the end"?
Just a new beginning....